Formula Oppo: The Heckler & Koch Grand Prix of The Failed Reich

Kinja'd!!! "Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire" (arch-duke-maxyenko)
07/18/2014 at 11:55 • Filed to: fo

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Velcome back to !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! , our temporary distraction from our miserable, meaningless lives. This week is the tenth round of the fleeting hope that would be victory. Participation vill only lead to disappointment and crushing defeat at the hands of vhom you once called "friends," but it is still encouraged as not partaking vill only make you lose vorse.

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!!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! , Nico Rosberg, Kimi Räikkönen, Felipe Massa, Marcus Ericsson, Pastor Maldonado, und Esteban Gutierrez, vere met by ze cruel jaws of fate zat is constantly licking ze vorld and revealing ze sad truth zat is vat ve call life. Lewis Hamilton vas able to capitalize on zis und make it across the finish line first. Following him into ze void of not racing vas Valtteri Bottas vith Daniel Ricciardo behind him. Lewis Hamilton's trophy realized it's place in ze vorld and proceeded to fall apart from its sad existence.

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Ze !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! has been in existence since 1932 und has been redesigned and shortened to match peoples lives. Ze current record holder is Kimi Räikkönen, who vill never again break ze record as ze cars have gotten slower und more depressing as time vent on. Vill Lewis see another victory or vill he be met once again vith ze crushing reality of life? Can Nico maintain his overall lead? No under dog can vin as zis is how life is. But, there is still room on ze podium for ze not vinners. Vill you pick zem?

Ze vorthless fools to partake in ze racing are:

Sebastian Vettel- Red Bull

Daniel Ricciardo- Red Bull

Max Chilton- Marussia

Jules Bianchi- Marussia

Nico Rosberg- Mercedes

Lewis Hamilton- Mercedes

Kimi Räikkönen- Ferrari

Fernando Alonso- Ferrari

Romain Grosjean- Lotus

Pastor Maldonado- Lotus

Marcus Ericsson- Caterham

Kamui Kobayashi- Caterham

Sergio Perez- Force India

Nico Hulkenberg- Force India

Felipe Massa- Williams

Valtteri Bottas- Williams

Kevin Magnussen- McLaren

Jenson Button- McLaren

Esteban Gutierrez- Sauber

Adrian Sutil- Sauber

Jean-Eric Vergne- Toro Rosso

Daniil Kvyat- Toro Rosso

Kinja'd!!!

Mein Kampfy picks are:

1. Lewis Hamilton

2. Nico Rosberg

3. Fernando Alonso

Q. Hamilton

Curse: Ve are all cursed to one day die, so I vill not curse a driver.

You vill have until Q1, (Saturday 19th at 8:00 am), to make your picks.

Es gibt kein Glück


DISCUSSION (33)

Kinja'd!!! Agrajag > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
07/12/2014 at 14:41

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The ghost of Bernie shall haunt us till the end of days.

My picks.

1. Lewis Hamilton

2. Nico Rosberg

3. Bottas

Q. Rosberg

Kinja'd!!! Bandit > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
07/12/2014 at 14:43

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1. Ham

2. Ros

3. Ric

Q. Ham

And as always, Bo77as or Massa can mess up my choices as much as they want without me being angry.

Kinja'd!!! kinjasignedmeout > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
07/12/2014 at 15:01

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1. Ham

2. Ros

3. Bot

Q. Ham

Kinja'd!!! RTeeJay > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
07/12/2014 at 19:45

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1. Rosberg

2. Bottas

3. Hamilton

Q. Rosberg

Kinja'd!!! TheStraightSixKid > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
07/12/2014 at 20:34

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1. Bottas

2. Hamilton

3. Vettel

Kinja'd!!! Tim (Fractal Footwork) > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
07/12/2014 at 21:42

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1. Lewis Hamilton

2. Nico Rosberg

3. Valtteri Bottas

Q. Lewis Hamilton

Kinja'd!!! saabstory | fixes bikes, breaks cars > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
07/13/2014 at 12:55

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HAM

ROS

RIC

HAM

Got that?

Kinja'd!!! Jonathon Klein > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
07/14/2014 at 11:22

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Ein. Hamilton

Zwei. Bottas

Drei. Ricciardo

und Qualifikation. Rosberg

Maldonado... cooler three weeks.

Kinja'd!!! Velocity- Peuguette Connoisseur > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
07/14/2014 at 11:39

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1. Ricciardo (I have a feeling something odd is going to happen to the mercs)

2. Bottas

3. Vettel

Q. Hamilton

Don't judge.

Kinja'd!!! Haimatox > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
07/15/2014 at 11:39

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1. Ham

2. Ros

3. Ric

Q. Ros

Kinja'd!!! ncasolowork2 > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
07/15/2014 at 11:47

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not sure if your schtick above included discussion about FRIC but the grid could be turned upside down this weekend.

For everyone making predictions... remember the FIA banned the suspension systems most of the grid was using.

Kinja'd!!! ginajmorgan > Agrajag
07/15/2014 at 11:55

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my buddy's sister-in-law makes $61 an hour on the internet . She has been without work for 9 months but last month her pay check was $12107 just working on the internet for a few hours. more information.........>> WWW.JOBSAA.COM

Kinja'd!!! Diesel > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
07/15/2014 at 12:49

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1. Vettel

2. Rosberg

3. Ricciardo

Q. Vettel

First one out, Kobayashi.

Kinja'd!!! Brian Silvestro > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
07/15/2014 at 13:14

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1. Rosberg

2. Hamilton

3. Massa

Q. Hamilton

Kinja'd!!! Fred (FreddsterExprs) > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
07/15/2014 at 15:53

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Alright, let's do this:

1. Rosberg

2. Hamilton

3. Massa

Q: Hamilton

Kinja'd!!! TxBrumski > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
07/16/2014 at 15:27

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1. Nico Rosberg

2. Lewis Hamilton

3. Kimi Raikkonen

Q. Fernando Alonso

Ze Curse: Both Caterham cars retire on the first lap because the team could only gather $3.50 in pocket change for gas.

Kinja'd!!! Lachlan - #ForzaJules > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
07/18/2014 at 04:10

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1. Hamilton

2. Rosberg

3. Ricciardo

Q. Hamilton

Kinja'd!!! davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
07/18/2014 at 09:23

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1 HAM

2 ROS

3 RIC

Q HAM

No curse.

Kinja'd!!! Sergio SVeron > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
07/18/2014 at 10:59

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1 Hamilton

2 Bottas

3 Pérez

Q Rosberg

Kinja'd!!! KnowsAboutCars > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
07/18/2014 at 12:28

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1. Hamilton

2. Rosberg

3. Ricciardo

Q. Hamilton

Something tells me that Rosberg might win and take the pole but I'll play it safe.

Kinja'd!!! doodon2whls > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
07/18/2014 at 12:51

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My picks:

1. Hamilton

2. Rosberg

3. Ricciardo

Q. Hamilton

Kinja'd!!! PushToStart > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
07/18/2014 at 13:10

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Q. Rosberg

1. Rosberg

2. Hamilton

3. Ricciardo

Kinja'd!!! EL_ULY > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
07/18/2014 at 14:13

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MEIN PICKS YOU OBEY!!!!

Q. NICO

1. NICO

2. HAM

3. MASSA

Kinja'd!!! JEM > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
07/18/2014 at 15:43

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1: Rossburger

2: Hamilton

3: Riccicarggghdough

Q: Hamilton

Kinja'd!!! pirates-ecu > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
07/18/2014 at 19:57

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1. Lewis the Ham sandwich
2. Nico, "I just got 55 million dollars so maybe ill stop pouting" Rosseberg
3. Daniel, "Crest's wet dream of a spokesman "Ricciardo

Pole position Lewis Hamilton, ( as long as Nico doesnt crash on purpose ;) )

Kinja'd!!! vorspringing > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
07/18/2014 at 20:24

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1. Hamilton

2. Ricciardo

3. Rosberg

Q. Hamilton

Curse: nein

Kinja'd!!! rad_mike > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
07/18/2014 at 21:00

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Q: Hamilton

Lap 2: Mercs take each other out while Massa claims they both tried to crash him.

P1: Vettel (out of fucking no where, because Germany).

P2: Bottas

P3: Danny Ric

Kinja'd!!! Trunk Impaired 318 > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
07/18/2014 at 22:15

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1. Rosberg

2. Hamilton

3. Bottas

Q. Rosberg

Curse. Gutierrez

Kinja'd!!! philipilihp > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
07/19/2014 at 00:39

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I have a good feeling aboit this one!

1. Rosberg

2. Alonso

3. Ricciardo

Q. Rosberg

Kinja'd!!! DoomBuggie > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
07/19/2014 at 04:48

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Since I completely forgot to make predictions for the Silverstone race I am going double or nothing this time and predicting that here, deep in the Black Forest amongst the eponymous ham and cake, we will see not a single, not a double but a quadrupel retirement sandwiching the field as the front running Mercs finally either crash into each other or have synchronized catastrophic transmission explosions while perennial retirees Maldonado and Koboyashi bookend the field. Also, Esteban Gutierrez' uni-brow becomes sentient. That's not a prediction, it's just the only reason I can think of to explains this . Also, am I the only one that finds the current Hockenheim boring? No elevation changes, no unique scenery or turns. At least the old Hockeneheim raced through the woods .

1. Riccardo
2. Bottas
3. Vettel

Q. Hamilton

Curse - (fuck it! All in.) Rosberg, Hamilton, Maldonado, Koboyashi.

Kinja'd!!! Skif6996 > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
07/19/2014 at 07:30

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1. Hamilton

2. Rosberg

3. Ricciardo

Q. Hamilton

Kinja'd!!! Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > RTeeJay
07/20/2014 at 11:41

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100%! Great job!

Kinja'd!!! RTeeJay > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
07/20/2014 at 12:46

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Thanks! But making those picks a week ahead of time was pure luck on my part. But I will take it.